Actually, according to Babycenter.com, Keiki is the size of a mini watermelon, but from my vantage point, that seems like an oxymoron to me.
For those of you ladies who live under a rock and have never seen Dirty Dancing, the above will mean nothing to you, so let me catch you up:
When Baby (Jennifer Grey) first meets Johnny (Patrick Swayze), she has paid her way into a staff party by helping out Johnny’s cousin Billy carry watermelons. When Johnny angrily says, “What’s she doing here?” Baby replies, “I carried a watermelon.” As the scene cuts away, she turns her head to the side and hisses under her breath, “I carried a WATERMELON?”
Any of you who have said something utterly stupid in the presence of an intimidatingly beautiful person has had this moment; one of the silver screen’s finest. This became shorthand among my college friends; at one point there was a boy crush who was only referred to as “Watermelon” because of my friend’s awkwardness in every encounter with him. There may have even been discussions of multiple watermelons spilling out of arms and rolling down Dunster Street.
In addition to the watermelon floating in my belly this week, I carry invisible watermelons on a daily basis. What is Monkey Brain, if not carrying watermelons everywhere? This has only gotten worse with motherhood, and next week’s addition will surely make things worse. A couple of months ago, I ask Josh to turn of the pillow when he got into bed. Oh sure, pillow, light? Exactly the same. Thank goodness for wedding vows, which should really include the following: “I will love you no matter how many watermelons you carry, and will even help you pick up the dropped ones.”
Keiki, where are you? Let the mommybrain commence (or let’s face it, just get worse)!
Showing posts with label pregnancy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pregnancy. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 03, 2010
Monday, February 01, 2010
39 Week Checkup: Loooking gooood. . .
BP: 130/74 Fundal Height: 40 cm
Weight: +2 lbs
Cervix: 50% effaced, 1 cm dilated, -2 station
Oh Internet, I can hardly contain my excitement! While the above stats may look like a bunch of numbers to the average eye, they are happy numbers that bring some really great news.
Let’s start with the cervix, shall we? Hmmm, there's an ice breaker. . .Anyhoo. So my cervix is soft and thin, which is what you want at 39 weeks. I’m 1 cm dilated, and -2 station, which means that Keiki has started to move down into the pelvis. The baby starts at -3, and all the way out of the birth canal is a positive 3. This explains the fact that while my abdominal pain has passed, I’m feeling lots of pressure and discomfort in my pelvis. That said, it's a good pain, a pain that feels right. Even without jumping jacks, Keiki is moving along. Dr. B said she could feel Keiki’s head. Isn’t that wild?!
For the first time, Dr. B has been excited about VBAC. For the most part, she’s been pretty conservative and open about that from our first conversation about VBAC, when she said her success rate was 85%, mainly due to the fact that she is conservative about all the stars aligning. We talked about potential interventions, such as stripping membranes (to move along the dilation process), breaking my water, maybe a little pitocin, and while I’m not so keen on interventions (the pineapple that I just ate doesn’t really count), the discussion itself made me feel like Dr. B was giving her seal of approval. It was felt hard-won, and that felt wonderful. I didn't want a doctor who pushed her own agenda or completely cave to my agenda, whatever that may be. I hope that every pregnant woman can have such a great advocate.
Today’s physical exam, along with last week’s ultrasound has given us some really great news. And by great news, I don’t need to schedule a C-Section anymore. The plan has always been that if I get to my due date, we’ll schedule a C-Section, but that is no longer a necessity. Oh sure, lots of things can happen in the next week or two that may shift the tide, but right now, we are looking good for VBAC. And after a nice walk through Target, I’m cramping away and it hurts so good. Go, Keiki go!
After I had Jacob, I just immediately assumed that I needed to have a C-Section, done deal, that’s all she wrote. And then I started learning about VBAC, and opening up to that choice, as well as all the emotional work required to keep my options open. Despite all the good news above, I may end up with a C-Section after all. While I can’t say how I’ll handle that, what I know right now is that I’ve done everything I can to make the best choice for me and my family, and I am so grateful for that. I know that if I had stuck rigidly (barring medical necessity) to one camp or the other, I would have regrets and what ifs. My feeling is that the best birth is one that you feel good about and feels good to you, regardless of how the kid comes out. I don’t know that I would always have defined it as such or even thought about it at all, but I'm sure glad that I have. Go, Keiki go!
Weight: +2 lbs
Cervix: 50% effaced, 1 cm dilated, -2 station
Oh Internet, I can hardly contain my excitement! While the above stats may look like a bunch of numbers to the average eye, they are happy numbers that bring some really great news.
Let’s start with the cervix, shall we? Hmmm, there's an ice breaker. . .Anyhoo. So my cervix is soft and thin, which is what you want at 39 weeks. I’m 1 cm dilated, and -2 station, which means that Keiki has started to move down into the pelvis. The baby starts at -3, and all the way out of the birth canal is a positive 3. This explains the fact that while my abdominal pain has passed, I’m feeling lots of pressure and discomfort in my pelvis. That said, it's a good pain, a pain that feels right. Even without jumping jacks, Keiki is moving along. Dr. B said she could feel Keiki’s head. Isn’t that wild?!
For the first time, Dr. B has been excited about VBAC. For the most part, she’s been pretty conservative and open about that from our first conversation about VBAC, when she said her success rate was 85%, mainly due to the fact that she is conservative about all the stars aligning. We talked about potential interventions, such as stripping membranes (to move along the dilation process), breaking my water, maybe a little pitocin, and while I’m not so keen on interventions (the pineapple that I just ate doesn’t really count), the discussion itself made me feel like Dr. B was giving her seal of approval. It was felt hard-won, and that felt wonderful. I didn't want a doctor who pushed her own agenda or completely cave to my agenda, whatever that may be. I hope that every pregnant woman can have such a great advocate.
Today’s physical exam, along with last week’s ultrasound has given us some really great news. And by great news, I don’t need to schedule a C-Section anymore. The plan has always been that if I get to my due date, we’ll schedule a C-Section, but that is no longer a necessity. Oh sure, lots of things can happen in the next week or two that may shift the tide, but right now, we are looking good for VBAC. And after a nice walk through Target, I’m cramping away and it hurts so good. Go, Keiki go!
After I had Jacob, I just immediately assumed that I needed to have a C-Section, done deal, that’s all she wrote. And then I started learning about VBAC, and opening up to that choice, as well as all the emotional work required to keep my options open. Despite all the good news above, I may end up with a C-Section after all. While I can’t say how I’ll handle that, what I know right now is that I’ve done everything I can to make the best choice for me and my family, and I am so grateful for that. I know that if I had stuck rigidly (barring medical necessity) to one camp or the other, I would have regrets and what ifs. My feeling is that the best birth is one that you feel good about and feels good to you, regardless of how the kid comes out. I don’t know that I would always have defined it as such or even thought about it at all, but I'm sure glad that I have. Go, Keiki go!
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
38 Weeks: Fabulous Fetus
2 more weeks! 2 more weeks! 2 more weeks!
My pain is clearing up, which is a relief in many ways. I also had an ultrasound this morning, and Keiki the leek is measuring 8.2 lbs (+/- 1lb, but they estimated that the baby’s probably under 8 lbs), and the head is in proportion to the rest of the body (no big pumpkin head right now). I believe the radiologist’s words were, “Baby is looking fabulous.” And who doesn’t like to hear about her fabulous fetus? Overall, it looks like I’m measuring about a week ahead, so that’s pretty good.
For most of the afternoon, I felt so happy and really giddy. We are down to the last two weeks, and my VBAC chances are looking better and better.
This pregnancy has been so different from the first time around. With Jacob, we knew the sex, he was named at 20 weeks, and around this time, we scheduled the induction and family visits; so much was planned to a T. I think I felt so much anxiety under the surface, which drove my need for structure and planning to provide comfort.
In contrast, we don’t know the sex, we have ideas about names but no final choices, we don’t know how Keiki is coming out, and we have no immediate postpartum visits planned. I have said “I don’t know” so much during this pregnancy, and I’m finding that I kind of like it.
When I was a kid, I spent as much of my summer as possible in the Atlantic Ocean. On rough surf days, I would often find myself with a few bruises and a bathing suit (if I was lucky) or mouthful (if I was not) of sand as I fought the scary pull of the water that could tumble me around like a sock in a washing machine. On the few times that I could relax my body into the movement of the ocean, I would find myself safely ashore, and while the sand up the butt was not always avoidable, I could certainly avoid a few bumps and bruises.
Today I felt like I was relaxing into the tumbling undertow that pregnancy can be sometimes. As I imagined the increased possibility of VBAC, I’m looking forward to that journey and hope it works out. I can envision the pain of labor, but it is a good pain, a pain with a purpose, and as strange as it may sound, I can imagine enjoying it. Even now, as Keiki head butts my cervix, it is a sharp, stabbing feeling, but I think to myself, ‘Go, Keiki go!” as I know that it means that my body is preparing for something big. And even if that ends in surgery, that is okay. Right now, I am enjoying the feeling of sweet surrender to whatever the next two weeks bring.
And this is why I write, because tomorrow my abdomen pain may be back and that C-Section could be on like Donkey Kong.
My pain is clearing up, which is a relief in many ways. I also had an ultrasound this morning, and Keiki the leek is measuring 8.2 lbs (+/- 1lb, but they estimated that the baby’s probably under 8 lbs), and the head is in proportion to the rest of the body (no big pumpkin head right now). I believe the radiologist’s words were, “Baby is looking fabulous.” And who doesn’t like to hear about her fabulous fetus? Overall, it looks like I’m measuring about a week ahead, so that’s pretty good.
For most of the afternoon, I felt so happy and really giddy. We are down to the last two weeks, and my VBAC chances are looking better and better.
This pregnancy has been so different from the first time around. With Jacob, we knew the sex, he was named at 20 weeks, and around this time, we scheduled the induction and family visits; so much was planned to a T. I think I felt so much anxiety under the surface, which drove my need for structure and planning to provide comfort.
In contrast, we don’t know the sex, we have ideas about names but no final choices, we don’t know how Keiki is coming out, and we have no immediate postpartum visits planned. I have said “I don’t know” so much during this pregnancy, and I’m finding that I kind of like it.
When I was a kid, I spent as much of my summer as possible in the Atlantic Ocean. On rough surf days, I would often find myself with a few bruises and a bathing suit (if I was lucky) or mouthful (if I was not) of sand as I fought the scary pull of the water that could tumble me around like a sock in a washing machine. On the few times that I could relax my body into the movement of the ocean, I would find myself safely ashore, and while the sand up the butt was not always avoidable, I could certainly avoid a few bumps and bruises.
Today I felt like I was relaxing into the tumbling undertow that pregnancy can be sometimes. As I imagined the increased possibility of VBAC, I’m looking forward to that journey and hope it works out. I can envision the pain of labor, but it is a good pain, a pain with a purpose, and as strange as it may sound, I can imagine enjoying it. Even now, as Keiki head butts my cervix, it is a sharp, stabbing feeling, but I think to myself, ‘Go, Keiki go!” as I know that it means that my body is preparing for something big. And even if that ends in surgery, that is okay. Right now, I am enjoying the feeling of sweet surrender to whatever the next two weeks bring.
And this is why I write, because tomorrow my abdomen pain may be back and that C-Section could be on like Donkey Kong.
Monday, January 25, 2010
38 Week Checkup, Stats & Baby Mama Drama
BP: 134/74 (highest so far, but still in the normal range)
Fundal Height: 40 cm
Weight: No change
Cervix: 50% effaced, dilated .5 cm
Other: See Below
So last Friday, I woke up and couldn’t move without pain in my lower abdomen. I was mostly okay when sitting (working on the computer is most of what I do) so I got distracted by my work and felt okay except when getting up to eat, etc. I was a little worried, but figured I’d give it until Saturday before doing something about it since I wasn’t having contractions, just pain.
On Saturday, I was still in pain but thought I could go to Stroller Strides and walk it off (erm, denial much?). There were some rain showers, and it turns out SS was cancelled so we thought we would just take a walk. I could barely walk about 50 feet before I just stopped and started sobbing. Combine pregnancy hormones and scary pain that is not contractions (along with decreased fetal movement), and that’s what you get, I guess. So I hobbled back to the car and had Josh call my Dr, since I was pretty sure I wouldn’t be able to string two sentences together. A couple of hours later, we were on our way to the hospital for a nonstress test and an ad-hoc test run for Keiki’s delivery.
Since children under 16 are not allowed in labor & delivery (H1N1), we had to come up with an impromptu plan for Jacob. Luckily our neighbors were home and happy to take him, so he played with their four year old and watched some Lightning McQueen while Josh came back to the hospital to be with me. We have friends who will be with Jacob while I’m at the hospital, but they are about 30 min away, so we are lucky to have great neighbors to fill that gap if needed.
A nonstress test, despite its name, is more of a stress test. Basically, you lie in a hospital bed with a fetal monitor attached to your belly to track the baby’s heartbeat and contractions if any. They have a certain number of heartbeat accelerations that they want to see in an hour to demonstrate that the baby is healthy and active. Good ole Keiki gave them what they were looking four in 10 minutes, and during the hour I was monitored, she/he moved more than in the previous 36 hours! I felt sort of silly, but relieved and still glad that I got things checked out. Most likely Keiki has been moving down and is now putting more pressure on my scar and so my lower abdomen is not a happy camper. I was told to stay on bed rest and see my doc ASAP, which brings us back to this morning.
After hearing more about my weekend, Dr. B told me that if she checked me and I was still closed up, we could do the C-Section this week if the pain does not subside. And while I admit to waffling back and forth this pregnancy, my eyes bugged out like Joey Tribiani in that episode (“The One with the Kips”) of Friends when he realizes that Monica and Chandler are sleeping together. Dr. B’s thinking is that if I am in a lot of pain, she doesn’t want me to stay pregnant if I don’t want to, especially since I’m full term.
My visceral reaction to this option finally helped me realize what I think I've been unwilling to let myself see: that unless it’s medically necessary, I don’t want a C-Section. That may change if this pain does not go away this week, but right now I can deal with it. I have an ultrasound on Wednesday to check out the size of this kid, and if it shows that Keiki is looking like a 10 pounder that may change my tune, but as of now, I’m medically clear to still wait until my due date, and then I am willing to schedule a C-Section for Friday, February 12 (mark your calendars, Internet!).
My bug-eyed response was both a confirmation of what I want in my heart, but also excitement and temptation. If I have a C-Section this week, I get to meet Keiki, and I’m so ready to meet him/her. That temptation is huge, not only because I get to meet this child I’ve been dreaming about, but there is also the fact that my decision will be made. No more waffling, no more VBAC/C-Section debate, and as helpful as this process has been, I’m sure ready for it to be over. I had a flash of relief, as if I move forward with a scheduled C-Section will tie up loose ends and I’ll know what’s going to happen and can plan for it, and that sounds so comforting right now.
And yet.
I’ve spent the last 5 months or so blogging my way through my fears and anxieties about things that I can’t control, and so I want to see it through. I want to continue to sit with the ambivalence as long as I can without being a risk to myself or Keiki. And again, what I love about Dr. B is that she gives it to me straight. Today I told her, “I want a VBAC, but I don’t want that to cloud my judgment and make decisions that may put myself at risk.” Her response was that medically speaking, I’m still in the green for VBAC. I have an ultrasound on Wednesday, which will give us both more information, and we agreed on some more parameters about what would be okay if I do go into labor, but I’m not locked into surgery just yet.
This may all change by the end of this week if the current pain/discomfort doesn’t improve, but so far, it has. Saturday morning’s walk was about 7-8 on the pain scale, and today I’m getting down to a 5 or so, and it feels less like pain, and more like soreness, so that’s good. I’ll keep you posted!
Fundal Height: 40 cm
Weight: No change
Cervix: 50% effaced, dilated .5 cm
Other: See Below
So last Friday, I woke up and couldn’t move without pain in my lower abdomen. I was mostly okay when sitting (working on the computer is most of what I do) so I got distracted by my work and felt okay except when getting up to eat, etc. I was a little worried, but figured I’d give it until Saturday before doing something about it since I wasn’t having contractions, just pain.
On Saturday, I was still in pain but thought I could go to Stroller Strides and walk it off (erm, denial much?). There were some rain showers, and it turns out SS was cancelled so we thought we would just take a walk. I could barely walk about 50 feet before I just stopped and started sobbing. Combine pregnancy hormones and scary pain that is not contractions (along with decreased fetal movement), and that’s what you get, I guess. So I hobbled back to the car and had Josh call my Dr, since I was pretty sure I wouldn’t be able to string two sentences together. A couple of hours later, we were on our way to the hospital for a nonstress test and an ad-hoc test run for Keiki’s delivery.
Since children under 16 are not allowed in labor & delivery (H1N1), we had to come up with an impromptu plan for Jacob. Luckily our neighbors were home and happy to take him, so he played with their four year old and watched some Lightning McQueen while Josh came back to the hospital to be with me. We have friends who will be with Jacob while I’m at the hospital, but they are about 30 min away, so we are lucky to have great neighbors to fill that gap if needed.
A nonstress test, despite its name, is more of a stress test. Basically, you lie in a hospital bed with a fetal monitor attached to your belly to track the baby’s heartbeat and contractions if any. They have a certain number of heartbeat accelerations that they want to see in an hour to demonstrate that the baby is healthy and active. Good ole Keiki gave them what they were looking four in 10 minutes, and during the hour I was monitored, she/he moved more than in the previous 36 hours! I felt sort of silly, but relieved and still glad that I got things checked out. Most likely Keiki has been moving down and is now putting more pressure on my scar and so my lower abdomen is not a happy camper. I was told to stay on bed rest and see my doc ASAP, which brings us back to this morning.
After hearing more about my weekend, Dr. B told me that if she checked me and I was still closed up, we could do the C-Section this week if the pain does not subside. And while I admit to waffling back and forth this pregnancy, my eyes bugged out like Joey Tribiani in that episode (“The One with the Kips”) of Friends when he realizes that Monica and Chandler are sleeping together. Dr. B’s thinking is that if I am in a lot of pain, she doesn’t want me to stay pregnant if I don’t want to, especially since I’m full term.
My visceral reaction to this option finally helped me realize what I think I've been unwilling to let myself see: that unless it’s medically necessary, I don’t want a C-Section. That may change if this pain does not go away this week, but right now I can deal with it. I have an ultrasound on Wednesday to check out the size of this kid, and if it shows that Keiki is looking like a 10 pounder that may change my tune, but as of now, I’m medically clear to still wait until my due date, and then I am willing to schedule a C-Section for Friday, February 12 (mark your calendars, Internet!).
My bug-eyed response was both a confirmation of what I want in my heart, but also excitement and temptation. If I have a C-Section this week, I get to meet Keiki, and I’m so ready to meet him/her. That temptation is huge, not only because I get to meet this child I’ve been dreaming about, but there is also the fact that my decision will be made. No more waffling, no more VBAC/C-Section debate, and as helpful as this process has been, I’m sure ready for it to be over. I had a flash of relief, as if I move forward with a scheduled C-Section will tie up loose ends and I’ll know what’s going to happen and can plan for it, and that sounds so comforting right now.
And yet.
I’ve spent the last 5 months or so blogging my way through my fears and anxieties about things that I can’t control, and so I want to see it through. I want to continue to sit with the ambivalence as long as I can without being a risk to myself or Keiki. And again, what I love about Dr. B is that she gives it to me straight. Today I told her, “I want a VBAC, but I don’t want that to cloud my judgment and make decisions that may put myself at risk.” Her response was that medically speaking, I’m still in the green for VBAC. I have an ultrasound on Wednesday, which will give us both more information, and we agreed on some more parameters about what would be okay if I do go into labor, but I’m not locked into surgery just yet.
This may all change by the end of this week if the current pain/discomfort doesn’t improve, but so far, it has. Saturday morning’s walk was about 7-8 on the pain scale, and today I’m getting down to a 5 or so, and it feels less like pain, and more like soreness, so that’s good. I’ll keep you posted!
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
37 Weeks: Not so neutral swiss chard
37 Weeks = Full Term = Let the jumping jacks commence!!
In all seriousness, it feels so good to be full term. Despite mind-boggling nausea for half of this pregnancy, overall things have gone pretty well. I'm starting to learn energy moderation and have been able to still enjoy things like making dinner and stroller striding without feeling like I'm going to collapse. Unfortunately I am down with a head cold that is making me a fusspot and giving Jacob a run for his money right now, but I’m trying to be patient since I can’t take lots of decongestants and whatnot, but god bless Benadryl and the United States of America! (I will give some context to that in a post someday, I promise)
Unlike my little chard within, I am not feeling so Swiss (neutral – I know, lame wordplay, but Babycenter is not giving me much!). I’m leaning more into the VBAC camp, but not ready to fully get on board with either decision. I will have an ultrasound next week that I may allow to decide my fate for me if Keiki is looking like another almost 10 pounder.
While part of me doesn’t want to make a decision before my due date, there is another part of me that just wants to decide already and be done with this. It is really hard work to slog through my labor, delivery and aftermath with Jacob and the emotional scars it left; all the fears that I have about my impending birth experience with Keiki. There is part of me that knows that it’s not just about this birth experience, and that if I don’t sit with my ambivalence and fear, it will manifest itself somewhere else in my life. Whoah, is that too Oprah for a blogger that responds to her junk mail? Well, let’s face it people, I’m kind of Oprah. Let’s just say that feeling my feelings are kind of hard for me, and all this feeling stuff and growing can be really draining.
I’m trying to see the up side. If I keep up this work, then I’ll have something to hold over Keiki when he/she is 15: “Do you know how many feelings I had to feel, how many tissues I used and how much therapy I went through to be a good mother to you?! Now just pick up your damn room!” Not as good as the guilt I can hold over Jacob, what with the “I went through surgery so you could come out with a nice round head, fella!” Oh well, it’s a start.
In all seriousness, it feels so good to be full term. Despite mind-boggling nausea for half of this pregnancy, overall things have gone pretty well. I'm starting to learn energy moderation and have been able to still enjoy things like making dinner and stroller striding without feeling like I'm going to collapse. Unfortunately I am down with a head cold that is making me a fusspot and giving Jacob a run for his money right now, but I’m trying to be patient since I can’t take lots of decongestants and whatnot, but god bless Benadryl and the United States of America! (I will give some context to that in a post someday, I promise)
Unlike my little chard within, I am not feeling so Swiss (neutral – I know, lame wordplay, but Babycenter is not giving me much!). I’m leaning more into the VBAC camp, but not ready to fully get on board with either decision. I will have an ultrasound next week that I may allow to decide my fate for me if Keiki is looking like another almost 10 pounder.
While part of me doesn’t want to make a decision before my due date, there is another part of me that just wants to decide already and be done with this. It is really hard work to slog through my labor, delivery and aftermath with Jacob and the emotional scars it left; all the fears that I have about my impending birth experience with Keiki. There is part of me that knows that it’s not just about this birth experience, and that if I don’t sit with my ambivalence and fear, it will manifest itself somewhere else in my life. Whoah, is that too Oprah for a blogger that responds to her junk mail? Well, let’s face it people, I’m kind of Oprah. Let’s just say that feeling my feelings are kind of hard for me, and all this feeling stuff and growing can be really draining.
I’m trying to see the up side. If I keep up this work, then I’ll have something to hold over Keiki when he/she is 15: “Do you know how many feelings I had to feel, how many tissues I used and how much therapy I went through to be a good mother to you?! Now just pick up your damn room!” Not as good as the guilt I can hold over Jacob, what with the “I went through surgery so you could come out with a nice round head, fella!” Oh well, it’s a start.
Monday, January 18, 2010
37 Week Checkup Stats
BP: 99/77
Fundal Height: 40 cm
Weight: +1 lb
Cervix: No change
Other: Strep B was negative
Looks like Keiki really jumped in size this week, but I had the backup OB, who noted that measurements can depend from caregiver to caregiver, so we’ll see. No major changes, BP still looking good, no swelling yet. I’m tired, but I also have a cold (got the go ahead for Benadryl, thank God!)
On Wednesday, I’ll be full term, and I can’t wait. Unfortunately we are having major rain this week, so potentially no Stroller Strides, which I was kind of hoping would help put me into labor. I also read Your Best Birth this weekend. I’ve been procrastinating on reading it because I’ve been afraid that it would make me feel more pressure to pursue VBAC, but I think they did a very good job of advocating the concept that your best birth is one in which you are making informed decisions and doing what is best for you.
I was pretty impressed with the OB today. I go to a all-female practice with three doctors, and they make sure you get to meet everyone before your delivery just in case your usual OB is not there. I've met the third doctor, but this one is new, replacing the OB who happened to back up my OB when Jacob was born and when I hemorraghed six weeks postpartum. My OB was there for the birth, but out of town during my uterine infection and the six week disaster, so I was grateful that I knew and liked the backup.
Anyhoo.
I must be a cheap date because she had me at hello. Since today was a holiday, both my fellas came with, and her opening comment was, "Is this the little guy that was 9 lbs, 14 oz?" At the end, she asked twice if we had additional questions. These two gestures may not seem like much, but as a patient, it's the little things that earn my trust. When I read about OB experiences where the doctor has a one eye on the clock, I'm grateful for my OB practice and that this woman took some time to learn about me and my past experience, and wasn't running out of there once she got a feel of the ole cervix.
Fundal Height: 40 cm
Weight: +1 lb
Cervix: No change
Other: Strep B was negative
Looks like Keiki really jumped in size this week, but I had the backup OB, who noted that measurements can depend from caregiver to caregiver, so we’ll see. No major changes, BP still looking good, no swelling yet. I’m tired, but I also have a cold (got the go ahead for Benadryl, thank God!)
On Wednesday, I’ll be full term, and I can’t wait. Unfortunately we are having major rain this week, so potentially no Stroller Strides, which I was kind of hoping would help put me into labor. I also read Your Best Birth this weekend. I’ve been procrastinating on reading it because I’ve been afraid that it would make me feel more pressure to pursue VBAC, but I think they did a very good job of advocating the concept that your best birth is one in which you are making informed decisions and doing what is best for you.
I was pretty impressed with the OB today. I go to a all-female practice with three doctors, and they make sure you get to meet everyone before your delivery just in case your usual OB is not there. I've met the third doctor, but this one is new, replacing the OB who happened to back up my OB when Jacob was born and when I hemorraghed six weeks postpartum. My OB was there for the birth, but out of town during my uterine infection and the six week disaster, so I was grateful that I knew and liked the backup.
Anyhoo.
I must be a cheap date because she had me at hello. Since today was a holiday, both my fellas came with, and her opening comment was, "Is this the little guy that was 9 lbs, 14 oz?" At the end, she asked twice if we had additional questions. These two gestures may not seem like much, but as a patient, it's the little things that earn my trust. When I read about OB experiences where the doctor has a one eye on the clock, I'm grateful for my OB practice and that this woman took some time to learn about me and my past experience, and wasn't running out of there once she got a feel of the ole cervix.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
36 Weeks: The Home Stretch?
Since Keiki is the size of a Crenshaw melon, I’ve wracked my brain for some sort of Crenshaw Boulevard reference, but let’s face it; I’m just not that cool. In case you even think about rejecting that notion, let me tell you a story, and then I’ll get back to pregnancy.
The summer I turned six, we took a family trip to England. First, we were in London, where we saw Evita, which I loved, loved, loved. We made our way south to the beach town of Sidmouth, where some friends of friends owned a news shop. While in the bathroom of the news shop, I decided to entertain myself by singing “Don’t Cry For Me Argentina.” AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS. Still in that childhood stage where you think you are invisible if you can't see anyone, oblivious to the fact that a closed door does not mean SOUNDPROOF, I finished my business, walked back out to the store to a standing ovation from my family and the shop patrons, turned red and melted into a nearly six-year-old puddle of embarrassment in the floor.
Back to the present.
In the final weeks of pregnancy, people often tell you that you’re on the home stretch, the final mile, almost there, Tiger. Although according to the Semantics Police, Keiki will be an Ox, not a Tiger, because the Chinese New Year won’t come until after his/her arrival. Stupid semantics, guess Daddy wants a little organizer not a charming, charismatic leader. . .reel it in Monkey Brain, REEL. IT. IN.
This week I’m realizing that these comments, while true in some sense, are also completely misleading. I know from experience that taking care of a baby in my belly is NOTHING compared to when they get out into the world.
While I’m on the final lap of the pregnancy, this is just a warm up. I’m finishing a marathon, only to begin a lifetime version of the Iron Man Triathlon. I want to savor this time, because so much will go into a vortex over the coming months. Part of my motivation to blog is to have something to share with my friends and family, most of whom are far, far away. It’s my way of saying, “I may not return your call or call you, ever. I may take months to respond to e-mails, but I still love you, and here’s what’s going on in my life that, along with my general Monkey Braininess, prevents me from being good about keeping in touch.” I wish I could tell my friends that if I don’t call you for the next five years, please don’t write me off, and try to remember when I was a good and caring friend because I still care, I’ve just got my head up my arse and that may not change for a few years.
I know that there are people who maintain social lives and ties with their best friend from third grade despite having jobs and kids. I’m not one of those people. I am not a good phone person, which makes me a bad long distance friend. I like e-mail, but completely flake out, which gets worse with parenthood. I’ve definitely lost friends due to my crappy correspondence skills, and I can only hope that the friends that remain either accept that part of me, or are so busy themselves that they don’t notice. Either one suits me. So those of you reading, wondering why I am such a shit, know this: I do think about you, and sometimes I’ll even set about calling or e-mailing, but 9 times out of 10, I will get distracted by a shiny object or poopy diaper. I’m sorry.
The summer I turned six, we took a family trip to England. First, we were in London, where we saw Evita, which I loved, loved, loved. We made our way south to the beach town of Sidmouth, where some friends of friends owned a news shop. While in the bathroom of the news shop, I decided to entertain myself by singing “Don’t Cry For Me Argentina.” AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS. Still in that childhood stage where you think you are invisible if you can't see anyone, oblivious to the fact that a closed door does not mean SOUNDPROOF, I finished my business, walked back out to the store to a standing ovation from my family and the shop patrons, turned red and melted into a nearly six-year-old puddle of embarrassment in the floor.
Back to the present.
In the final weeks of pregnancy, people often tell you that you’re on the home stretch, the final mile, almost there, Tiger. Although according to the Semantics Police, Keiki will be an Ox, not a Tiger, because the Chinese New Year won’t come until after his/her arrival. Stupid semantics, guess Daddy wants a little organizer not a charming, charismatic leader. . .reel it in Monkey Brain, REEL. IT. IN.
This week I’m realizing that these comments, while true in some sense, are also completely misleading. I know from experience that taking care of a baby in my belly is NOTHING compared to when they get out into the world.
While I’m on the final lap of the pregnancy, this is just a warm up. I’m finishing a marathon, only to begin a lifetime version of the Iron Man Triathlon. I want to savor this time, because so much will go into a vortex over the coming months. Part of my motivation to blog is to have something to share with my friends and family, most of whom are far, far away. It’s my way of saying, “I may not return your call or call you, ever. I may take months to respond to e-mails, but I still love you, and here’s what’s going on in my life that, along with my general Monkey Braininess, prevents me from being good about keeping in touch.” I wish I could tell my friends that if I don’t call you for the next five years, please don’t write me off, and try to remember when I was a good and caring friend because I still care, I’ve just got my head up my arse and that may not change for a few years.
I know that there are people who maintain social lives and ties with their best friend from third grade despite having jobs and kids. I’m not one of those people. I am not a good phone person, which makes me a bad long distance friend. I like e-mail, but completely flake out, which gets worse with parenthood. I’ve definitely lost friends due to my crappy correspondence skills, and I can only hope that the friends that remain either accept that part of me, or are so busy themselves that they don’t notice. Either one suits me. So those of you reading, wondering why I am such a shit, know this: I do think about you, and sometimes I’ll even set about calling or e-mailing, but 9 times out of 10, I will get distracted by a shiny object or poopy diaper. I’m sorry.
Monday, January 11, 2010
36 Week Checkup
BP: 103/86
Fundal Height: 37 cm
Weight: +1.5
Cervix: 30% effaced; closed
What this all means: Things are looking very good. In terms of belly size, growth has slowed down to the point where I don’t really need a last ultrasound to determine the size, but I’m still going to have one to help me make the VBAC/C-Section determination in a few weeks. While I’ve agreed to schedule a C-Section if we are looking at another 9 pounder, I still have a resistance to that idea, despite the fact that it may be in my best interest. Clearly there’s some more work to do, so stay tuned for more birth stories (sorry fellas!)
The cervix stuff up there means that my cervix is starting to thin out, but still closed. This is okay given that I’m not at 36 weeks, but good news that things are starting to happen down below. We still want to keep this kiddo in the hot tub for at least another 9 days, but then all bets are off!
Fundal Height: 37 cm
Weight: +1.5
Cervix: 30% effaced; closed
What this all means: Things are looking very good. In terms of belly size, growth has slowed down to the point where I don’t really need a last ultrasound to determine the size, but I’m still going to have one to help me make the VBAC/C-Section determination in a few weeks. While I’ve agreed to schedule a C-Section if we are looking at another 9 pounder, I still have a resistance to that idea, despite the fact that it may be in my best interest. Clearly there’s some more work to do, so stay tuned for more birth stories (sorry fellas!)
The cervix stuff up there means that my cervix is starting to thin out, but still closed. This is okay given that I’m not at 36 weeks, but good news that things are starting to happen down below. We still want to keep this kiddo in the hot tub for at least another 9 days, but then all bets are off!
Sunday, January 10, 2010
T Minus 1 Month
Well, I'm officially 1 month away from my due date. I feel pretty good, up and down still, but that's part of the deal with these final weeks. I can't believe that D-day is so close! We're pretty much set up over here, and we have plans for Jacob, who will be giving our friends A&P (due in April) a practice run at parenting a toddler. Still don't know how little Keiki's going to make his/her way out, but that's just fine.
I'm eager to meet Keiki and excited for the next challenge to begin. I'm sure the next month will go by very quickly, but just in case, once I get to 37 weeks, I'll be jumping jacking all over the place!
I'm eager to meet Keiki and excited for the next challenge to begin. I'm sure the next month will go by very quickly, but just in case, once I get to 37 weeks, I'll be jumping jacking all over the place!
Wednesday, January 06, 2010
35 Weeks: Honeydew List
Happy Epiphany everyone! For those of you not in the know, January 6 is the feast of the Epiphany, marking the visit of the Magi (Wise Men) to baby Jesus, when he was 12 days old (no catered birth for Mary!). I think this is probably where we get 12 days of Christmas, but I was probably spacing out or faking sick when they covered that in Sunday School. Tonight we'll be feasting on some slow cooked beef with veggies and couscous. I'm breaking in my new Crock Pot from Santa (Yes, Mom, this is the same appliance you've been trying to get for me for the last 5 years, and once I was finally ready, Josh beat you to the punch!)
This is also the week that Keiki is supposed to be like a honeydew, and what better way to celebrate than with a recap of the “Honey Do” list, although in this case, most of the Honey doing is your friend Monkey Brain.
Moses Basket
Car Seat & Extra Base
Put together Ikea Hemnes dresser
Buy Dreft
Put clothes in dresser
Buy Pampers Swaddlers, Size 1
Buy linens for Jakey’s toddler bed (Thanks Jojo!)
Get credit for double-charged Hemes dresser
Wash 0-3 month clothes
Draft Birth Plan
Pre-register at hospital
Wash Jolly Jumper (to hold the Moses Basket like a cradle), which has been in the garage and needs some bleaching in case any rats rubbed against it.
Unearth Breast Pump
Make Josh check the baby tub in the garage for rats. If no rats, fully scrub the tub in case rats touched it.
Pack hospital bag .
As you can see, old MB has made some progress in the last week. Oh I’m sure I’ll be able to add to the list as I check things off, but so far, I’m feeling pretty good.
This is also the week that Keiki is supposed to be like a honeydew, and what better way to celebrate than with a recap of the “Honey Do” list, although in this case, most of the Honey doing is your friend Monkey Brain.
Wash Jolly Jumper (to hold the Moses Basket like a cradle), which has been in the garage and needs some bleaching in case any rats rubbed against it.
Unearth Breast Pump
Make Josh check the baby tub in the garage for rats. If no rats, fully scrub the tub in case rats touched it.
Pack hospital bag .
As you can see, old MB has made some progress in the last week. Oh I’m sure I’ll be able to add to the list as I check things off, but so far, I’m feeling pretty good.
Tuesday, January 05, 2010
Chester the Molester (of the belly variety)
Throughout each of my pregnancies, strangers have been pretty respectful of the old belly. My friend C tells me of many stories of grabby hands on the Muni to rub her belly like Aladdin’s lamp, and I considered myself pretty lucky. And then my belly got molested this week. .
When I got to my BART station, the escalator was broken, which meant that I had to take the elevator and by the time I hit the parking structure, most of my fellow commuters had already reached their cars and the place was pretty empty. There was a man walking in front of me, and I had this weird feeling so I slowed down to let him get further ahead of me. Then he turned around.
“Can you tell me how to get to Union Square?”
“In San Francisco?”
“Um, yeah.”
“Well, you have to go back to the trains.” What are you doing walking around a parking lot if you are looking to go to San Francisco??
So I lead him back to the breezeway that leads to the trains, point out the BART train, and tell him he has to go back inside and take the BART to Powell Street station. Good deed done for the day, goodbye Charlie, right?
Instead of walking back into the station, he reaches out and puts his hand on my belly. AND DOESN’T REMOVE IT. And so begins the most awkward 5 minutes of 2010.
How’s the pregnancy going? Fine. Do you know what you’re having? Nope. Is this your first? Nope. How far along? 8 months? My ex is 8 months pregnant with twins. Do you know the position of the baby? Um, NO. Does the baby kick? Of course! Can you make it kick? NO (getthefuckawayfrommeyoufreak)
I’m answering for the most part, but increasingly freaking out, trying to figure out how to extract myself from this situation without antagonizing this stranger with crazy eyes.
And then he puts his other hand on my belly. THIS STRANGE MAN IS CUPPING MY BELLY. I flinch backward, and this seems to break the moment, THANK GOD.
“Oh! I’m sorry, is that. . .”
“Um, yeah, it’s kind of weird.”
He takes the one hand off, but the other hand remains. I have to say I can’t really remember how it ended, but I think he got the message and walked away. I picked up my cell phone like I just remembered I need to call something. I waited until he looked far enough out of sight, and booked it to my car. And by “booked it,” I mean waddled as quickly as possible while trying to get a hold of Josh so he could talk to me until I got safely to the car.
The upshot is that I was tired and in a crappy mood while on BART, but the adrenaline and relief coursing through my body turned my whole outlook around. However, if I had my druthers, I’d take a nice glass of Zinfandel over a belly molester any day.
When I got to my BART station, the escalator was broken, which meant that I had to take the elevator and by the time I hit the parking structure, most of my fellow commuters had already reached their cars and the place was pretty empty. There was a man walking in front of me, and I had this weird feeling so I slowed down to let him get further ahead of me. Then he turned around.
“Can you tell me how to get to Union Square?”
“In San Francisco?”
“Um, yeah.”
“Well, you have to go back to the trains.” What are you doing walking around a parking lot if you are looking to go to San Francisco??
So I lead him back to the breezeway that leads to the trains, point out the BART train, and tell him he has to go back inside and take the BART to Powell Street station. Good deed done for the day, goodbye Charlie, right?
Instead of walking back into the station, he reaches out and puts his hand on my belly. AND DOESN’T REMOVE IT. And so begins the most awkward 5 minutes of 2010.
How’s the pregnancy going? Fine. Do you know what you’re having? Nope. Is this your first? Nope. How far along? 8 months? My ex is 8 months pregnant with twins. Do you know the position of the baby? Um, NO. Does the baby kick? Of course! Can you make it kick? NO (getthefuckawayfrommeyoufreak)
I’m answering for the most part, but increasingly freaking out, trying to figure out how to extract myself from this situation without antagonizing this stranger with crazy eyes.
And then he puts his other hand on my belly. THIS STRANGE MAN IS CUPPING MY BELLY. I flinch backward, and this seems to break the moment, THANK GOD.
“Oh! I’m sorry, is that. . .”
“Um, yeah, it’s kind of weird.”
He takes the one hand off, but the other hand remains. I have to say I can’t really remember how it ended, but I think he got the message and walked away. I picked up my cell phone like I just remembered I need to call something. I waited until he looked far enough out of sight, and booked it to my car. And by “booked it,” I mean waddled as quickly as possible while trying to get a hold of Josh so he could talk to me until I got safely to the car.
The upshot is that I was tired and in a crappy mood while on BART, but the adrenaline and relief coursing through my body turned my whole outlook around. However, if I had my druthers, I’d take a nice glass of Zinfandel over a belly molester any day.
Saturday, January 02, 2010
Scary Pregnancy Dream
I go to sleep feeling nauseated on a Monday night, and when I next awake on Thursday, I'm still in my bed, but I've been to the hospital and back and our baby girl was born via C-Section. Josh hadn't really taken pictures, and I am so disoriented and confused.
I interrogate Josh: Was I coherent? Was I passed out the whole time? How did you know I was in labor? They released me from the hospital after only one day?
From what I can piece together, the baby was born that Tuesday, February 6 (which I think would make the year 2011). I accept the fact that it was a C-Section since I wasn't even lucid, but can't tell if I was passed out the whole time or just blocked everything out.
This scared the crap out of me this morning when I woke up, and physically I don't feel too much better than my dream. Once again I overtaxed myself yesterday, so my belly hurts, my back hurts and my head hurts. A fog of disorientation remains, and I plan on doing nothing today so that my body and mind can recover. Begone creepy dream and your side effects!!
I interrogate Josh: Was I coherent? Was I passed out the whole time? How did you know I was in labor? They released me from the hospital after only one day?
From what I can piece together, the baby was born that Tuesday, February 6 (which I think would make the year 2011). I accept the fact that it was a C-Section since I wasn't even lucid, but can't tell if I was passed out the whole time or just blocked everything out.
This scared the crap out of me this morning when I woke up, and physically I don't feel too much better than my dream. Once again I overtaxed myself yesterday, so my belly hurts, my back hurts and my head hurts. A fog of disorientation remains, and I plan on doing nothing today so that my body and mind can recover. Begone creepy dream and your side effects!!
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
34 Weeks: Stats & Cantaloupe Brain
BP: 102/72
Fundal Height: 36cm (36 weeks)
Weight: +1 (I TOLD you it was the cookies!)
In the great VBAC/C-Section debate, we are undecided. Low BP is a good sign that I won’t have preeclampsia, a form of pregnancy induced high blood pressure, which can only be relieved by delivery, which would mean C-Section (no inductions, remember?). I’m still measuring 2 weeks ahead, but that is steady from the last few visits, so the good sign is that baby is not continuing to grow faster than my birth canal would like.
The longer I stay in the middle zone, the more comfortable I get with either type of delivery. I have moments of really wanting to power through a med-free vaginal birth, but that seems like an extreme fantasy. What does feel good is that I’m doing what I can to stay healthy and so far, my body is cooperating. We’ll see how these last few weeks go, but for now I’m still enjoying this middle place.
Evidently Keiki is the size of a cantaloupe this week, and my own melon feels a little mushy inside. This week I’ve had a serious case of nesting. Nesting plus Monkey Brain plus 3rd trimester pregnancy fatigue makes for an ugly scene.
So far, we have Jacob’s new bed and a bigger dresser for the kids (KIDS!!) to share. We hung curtains after having a jury-rigged budget situation that looked like a sheet hanging over one window ever since we got our new windows in October. A new faucet to replace the old one from 1972 that was so low that as long as you didn’t put dishes in the sink, it would be just fine. And as long as you didn’t move the spout in any way, it wouldn’t spit at you. A new showerhead, bath spout and knobs means that we can turn the shower on and off without fear that one might fall off again and we’d need to use the pliers to turn on the bathwater.
And when I say we, I don’t mean me. I mean that my brother Ben put up the curtains, and Josh found the plumber, and I frantically added items to the Honey Do list. And since I can’t do much with this big turkey (cantaloupe, my A$$!) strapped to my belly, I sit frustrated by my lack of physical ability to help while my mind goes on, listing all the things we “need” to do.
You see Internet, when pregnant with Jacob, we pretty much had everything set long before he was born. We both had the anxiety that drove us to get the crib, wash the clothes, install the car seat. That was before we had a little person who wants to play Legos instead of letting you read car seat reviews. That was before poopy diapers and bath time, and one more reading of Chicken Bedtime is Really Early took precedence over buying Dreft to pre-wash baby clothes.
With Keiki, our mantra has been, “Oh, we have everything, we just need a new car seat.” While this is true for the most part, we still have to get out the Moses basket, wash the newborn clothes, find a place to store them, and be ready. And Keiki could come in as soon as three weeks. THREE WEEKS!!!! It doesn’t help to get all bent out of shape, but what can you do when you are 8 months pregnant and can’t walk off your anxiety without Braxton-Hicksing yourself into submission? Well, you make a big list of stuff to do and spew it at your spouse. Honey, I’m sorry you married a crazy crackpot who may be crazier by the minute.
At the end of the day, we do have everything, I just need to get to the pool or something and burn off the nervous nesting energy. Although I must say, our new drapes look quite lovely, and I can’t stop washing dishes with our shiny new faucet.
Fundal Height: 36cm (36 weeks)
Weight: +1 (I TOLD you it was the cookies!)
In the great VBAC/C-Section debate, we are undecided. Low BP is a good sign that I won’t have preeclampsia, a form of pregnancy induced high blood pressure, which can only be relieved by delivery, which would mean C-Section (no inductions, remember?). I’m still measuring 2 weeks ahead, but that is steady from the last few visits, so the good sign is that baby is not continuing to grow faster than my birth canal would like.
The longer I stay in the middle zone, the more comfortable I get with either type of delivery. I have moments of really wanting to power through a med-free vaginal birth, but that seems like an extreme fantasy. What does feel good is that I’m doing what I can to stay healthy and so far, my body is cooperating. We’ll see how these last few weeks go, but for now I’m still enjoying this middle place.
Evidently Keiki is the size of a cantaloupe this week, and my own melon feels a little mushy inside. This week I’ve had a serious case of nesting. Nesting plus Monkey Brain plus 3rd trimester pregnancy fatigue makes for an ugly scene.
So far, we have Jacob’s new bed and a bigger dresser for the kids (KIDS!!) to share. We hung curtains after having a jury-rigged budget situation that looked like a sheet hanging over one window ever since we got our new windows in October. A new faucet to replace the old one from 1972 that was so low that as long as you didn’t put dishes in the sink, it would be just fine. And as long as you didn’t move the spout in any way, it wouldn’t spit at you. A new showerhead, bath spout and knobs means that we can turn the shower on and off without fear that one might fall off again and we’d need to use the pliers to turn on the bathwater.
And when I say we, I don’t mean me. I mean that my brother Ben put up the curtains, and Josh found the plumber, and I frantically added items to the Honey Do list. And since I can’t do much with this big turkey (cantaloupe, my A$$!) strapped to my belly, I sit frustrated by my lack of physical ability to help while my mind goes on, listing all the things we “need” to do.
You see Internet, when pregnant with Jacob, we pretty much had everything set long before he was born. We both had the anxiety that drove us to get the crib, wash the clothes, install the car seat. That was before we had a little person who wants to play Legos instead of letting you read car seat reviews. That was before poopy diapers and bath time, and one more reading of Chicken Bedtime is Really Early took precedence over buying Dreft to pre-wash baby clothes.
With Keiki, our mantra has been, “Oh, we have everything, we just need a new car seat.” While this is true for the most part, we still have to get out the Moses basket, wash the newborn clothes, find a place to store them, and be ready. And Keiki could come in as soon as three weeks. THREE WEEKS!!!! It doesn’t help to get all bent out of shape, but what can you do when you are 8 months pregnant and can’t walk off your anxiety without Braxton-Hicksing yourself into submission? Well, you make a big list of stuff to do and spew it at your spouse. Honey, I’m sorry you married a crazy crackpot who may be crazier by the minute.
At the end of the day, we do have everything, I just need to get to the pool or something and burn off the nervous nesting energy. Although I must say, our new drapes look quite lovely, and I can’t stop washing dishes with our shiny new faucet.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
33 Weeks: Pineapple Dreams. . .I Wish
Well, I’ve rallied a bit since last week. I can’t do too much, but I don’t feel like I’m going to fall over. I can’t walk far, so I’m looking forward to working from home in a couple of weeks and hauling myself into the nearest YMCA pool for some weightlessness.
The main thing this past week is that I’m no longer sleeping through the night. I never really sleep through the night while pregnant, waking up every few hours to change position or pee. But lately, I actually wake up and can’t get back to sleep. This feels like Mother Nature’s way of preparing me for the caring of a newborn, but don’t you think I should be stockpiling sleep while I can, and not stripping it from me in advance? Oh Mother Nature, what a cruel mistress you can be!
The main thing this past week is that I’m no longer sleeping through the night. I never really sleep through the night while pregnant, waking up every few hours to change position or pee. But lately, I actually wake up and can’t get back to sleep. This feels like Mother Nature’s way of preparing me for the caring of a newborn, but don’t you think I should be stockpiling sleep while I can, and not stripping it from me in advance? Oh Mother Nature, what a cruel mistress you can be!
Friday, December 18, 2009
I Don't Think You're Ready, For This Belly
Here you go, reader, a nice preggo picture. I've always hated having my picture taken, but this was a good hair day, and my outfit is quite pregalicious.
My expression here is pretty much the same one that I had in my Kindergarten photo. My mom was at school that day and when she found out, she marched me back to the photographer and made them take it again. When the proofs came back, she actually liked the pouty face so much that she ordered a whole set of them. Score for sullenness!
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
32 Weeks: Jicama Baby, One More Time
I know, citizen's arrest, Pun Police. I just couldn't help myself.
Over the last two days, I've been hit with a tsunami of third-trimesterness like nobody's business. I went for a 20 min walk with a co-worker at lunch yesterday, and had a tight, painful belly for the rest of the day, completely worthless by the time I got home. Also, during my afternoon meeting, Keiki had what felt like a demonstration of Elaine Bennes' dance moves, only at hyper speed, causing me to exclaim and freak out my fellow meeting attendees. Keiki is kicking like mad and getting hiccups (which is still cool and not yet annoying), head-butting my cervix and causing lots of chaos in my belly.
I feel woozy and exausted, and right now it feels like I could pass out, but I'm not that sleepy. This does not bode well because I have 8 more weeks, and I need to rally somehow. I haven't exercised since last Sunday, so I'm hoping to get to the pool and get some energy back.
Right after I typed this last sentence, when I thought I might fall face first onto the keyboard, Jacob ran into the room, freshly escaped from the bath and his towel-wielding father, completely naked.
"Naked little boy!" I said.
"Naked little boy! Naked little boy!" he aped as he climbed onto the snuggler to greet me. Recaptured and burritoed into a towel by Daddy, he cried out, "Bye Mama! See ya tomorrow!" and I feel like a car battery that's been given a jump start. Thank Heaven, for little toddlers.
Over the last two days, I've been hit with a tsunami of third-trimesterness like nobody's business. I went for a 20 min walk with a co-worker at lunch yesterday, and had a tight, painful belly for the rest of the day, completely worthless by the time I got home. Also, during my afternoon meeting, Keiki had what felt like a demonstration of Elaine Bennes' dance moves, only at hyper speed, causing me to exclaim and freak out my fellow meeting attendees. Keiki is kicking like mad and getting hiccups (which is still cool and not yet annoying), head-butting my cervix and causing lots of chaos in my belly.
I feel woozy and exausted, and right now it feels like I could pass out, but I'm not that sleepy. This does not bode well because I have 8 more weeks, and I need to rally somehow. I haven't exercised since last Sunday, so I'm hoping to get to the pool and get some energy back.
Right after I typed this last sentence, when I thought I might fall face first onto the keyboard, Jacob ran into the room, freshly escaped from the bath and his towel-wielding father, completely naked.
"Naked little boy!" I said.
"Naked little boy! Naked little boy!" he aped as he climbed onto the snuggler to greet me. Recaptured and burritoed into a towel by Daddy, he cried out, "Bye Mama! See ya tomorrow!" and I feel like a car battery that's been given a jump start. Thank Heaven, for little toddlers.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Monkey Brain
“If I have a vaginal birth, will you get me a Push present?”
“Mmmmm. . . Probably not.”
You are VERY lucky that you’ve been doing a lot of dishes lately, buddy.
“Mmmmm. . . Probably not.”
You are VERY lucky that you’ve been doing a lot of dishes lately, buddy.
32 Week Checkup Stats
BP: 113/62
Fundal Height: 34 cm
Weight: +5lbs (3 of which are the direct result of baking six dozen cookies and subsequent swap for other even more delicious cookies yesterday)
I happily have not much to report, I didn’t even have questions for my OB! Blood pressure staying low is really good, and while the fundal (heh heh) height is still a couple of weeks ahead, the fact that it has remained steady is a good thing. Next visit should be the same, but week 36 I get a cervix check, which will tell us what’s going on down there.
This afternoon, I felt one of my favorite third trimester experiences for the first time (this go around): fetal hiccups!
Fundal Height: 34 cm
Weight: +5lbs (3 of which are the direct result of baking six dozen cookies and subsequent swap for other even more delicious cookies yesterday)
I happily have not much to report, I didn’t even have questions for my OB! Blood pressure staying low is really good, and while the fundal (heh heh) height is still a couple of weeks ahead, the fact that it has remained steady is a good thing. Next visit should be the same, but week 36 I get a cervix check, which will tell us what’s going on down there.
This afternoon, I felt one of my favorite third trimester experiences for the first time (this go around): fetal hiccups!
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Grateful
I was watching a recent episode of Oprah, featuring writers Nicholas D. Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn, authors of Half the Sky, and it broke me wide open.
They featured the story of Prudence, and African girl experiencing complications from pregnancy. After being driven 75 miles to the nearest hospital, she went untreated, and the fetus died and began to rot inside her. She received a blood transfusion from Kristof and his cameraman, and still, without antibiotics an infection raged through her body.
I tell myself that 100 years ago, I may have died giving birth to Jacob, and whatever my feelings and issues with that experience, both I and my baby are healthy and well as the result of good medical care. I forget that it’s not just 100 years ago, it happens every day in countries that do not have access to the basic medical care that I take for granted.
I know that the plans that I’m making for Keiki’s birth, the emotional work that I am doing to get over my last birth experience, all this time and emotional attention, is a luxury. I don’t mean to belittle my journey, because while it is comparatively luxurious, it is still mine. I just want to also acknowledge and express how grateful I am that no matter how the next few months go, I have access to a wealth of resources and care, and for that, I am blessed.
They featured the story of Prudence, and African girl experiencing complications from pregnancy. After being driven 75 miles to the nearest hospital, she went untreated, and the fetus died and began to rot inside her. She received a blood transfusion from Kristof and his cameraman, and still, without antibiotics an infection raged through her body.
I tell myself that 100 years ago, I may have died giving birth to Jacob, and whatever my feelings and issues with that experience, both I and my baby are healthy and well as the result of good medical care. I forget that it’s not just 100 years ago, it happens every day in countries that do not have access to the basic medical care that I take for granted.
I know that the plans that I’m making for Keiki’s birth, the emotional work that I am doing to get over my last birth experience, all this time and emotional attention, is a luxury. I don’t mean to belittle my journey, because while it is comparatively luxurious, it is still mine. I just want to also acknowledge and express how grateful I am that no matter how the next few months go, I have access to a wealth of resources and care, and for that, I am blessed.
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Letter to a New Mom, vol. 1
Dear S,
This week, you were introduced to motherhood and all the joy and madness that it entails. You are the newest in the late 2009-2010 baby boom, and baby Max is beautiful.
One of my favorite memories of you is from sophomore year. You taught me that before you have a baby, your cervix is soft, like the flesh at the tip of one’s nose, and that after, your cervix is hard, like the front of your chin. You kept mixing up “cervix” and “clitoris,” so to demonstrate, you kept poking your nose and then your chin while saying “Cli-tor-is,” in a high, sing-songy voice. So welcome to the world of hard cervixes and soft bellies (your body will return, I promise), sleepless nights and exploding poop, drool and sloppy kisses.
I hope that giving birth to a three month old has the same benefits that it did for me: longer sleep sessions. May your little tank give you at least 4 hours of rest once in a while, and may your boobs remain chafe-free. I love you and can’t wait to meet Jacob’s newest friend.
Love and kisses,
Monkey Brain
This week, you were introduced to motherhood and all the joy and madness that it entails. You are the newest in the late 2009-2010 baby boom, and baby Max is beautiful.
One of my favorite memories of you is from sophomore year. You taught me that before you have a baby, your cervix is soft, like the flesh at the tip of one’s nose, and that after, your cervix is hard, like the front of your chin. You kept mixing up “cervix” and “clitoris,” so to demonstrate, you kept poking your nose and then your chin while saying “Cli-tor-is,” in a high, sing-songy voice. So welcome to the world of hard cervixes and soft bellies (your body will return, I promise), sleepless nights and exploding poop, drool and sloppy kisses.
I hope that giving birth to a three month old has the same benefits that it did for me: longer sleep sessions. May your little tank give you at least 4 hours of rest once in a while, and may your boobs remain chafe-free. I love you and can’t wait to meet Jacob’s newest friend.
Love and kisses,
Monkey Brain
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