The problem with dvr

Well, for the most part, there is no problem, no problem what. so. ever. I mean, just last Sunday I was lovin' my Tivo as we rewound the moment when the crazy redhead charged the stage to Kanye the best documentary short acceptance speech. I mean, without Tivo, we would not have been able to see that OMG, they were RACING to the stage!! (Well, there's always Youtube, but you get my drift)

Sometimes however, you get backed up and so the water cooler moments lose their relevance. For example, tonight while we are watching one of the funniest hosts ever, Zach Galiafanakis, all I want to do is talk to someone around the watercooler about how funny he is and relive the moment when he says, "We've got a great show tonight; Hoobastank is here. . .no? Oh! Who is it?" And I'm all, Hoobastank?! This is a man after my own heart. I mean, on my celebrity crush list, homeless professor looking Zach just may have sailed past Jason Segel and Jake Gyllenhaal.

Alas, this episode is a week old, so my watercooler moment is gone. This is kind of like one of my favorite movies, Kicking and Screaming. Olivia D'Abo's character, Jane, keeps saying things like, "Oh hey, I thought of a comeback for that comment you made in class two weeks ago. . ." Yeah, it's kind of like that.

Internet? Thanks for being my watercooler.

Monkey Brain

Scene: Late afternoon, our media room, watching Survivor: Heroes v. Villains

Monkey Brain: How did Coach make it to the Villains tribe?

Josh: Because there was no dufus tribe!

Monkey Brain

I'm watching today's Oprah, which is about the adult children of Elizabeth Smart's kidnapper (Wanda Barzee). The youngest girl related a story about her mother serving up her pet rabbit for dinner (and told her daughter the next day). Whatever my mistakes or guilt as a mom, I'm doing A-OK.

Monkey Brain

Dear Tivo,

HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME? WHY DON'T YOU HAVE A MONKEY BRAIN SETTING? HOW COULD YOU ERASE THE LAST TWO EPISODES OF THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH CONAN O’BRIEN?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!!?!?? YOU ARE SO GOING INTO TIME OUT!!!!!!

Sincerely,

Monkey Brain

The show that Just! Won't! End!

I have been watching The Bachelor since Season 3 in 2002. Actually, it was The Bachelorette, the first one with Trista (Rehn) Sutter and Fireman Ryan. Josh and I got hooked, and continued to watch, despite the downhill slide over the years. I watched the boring Italian (but really American who didn’t even speak Italian) “Prince,” Brad who chose no one, and that guy who ended up dating Marla Maples. The last few haven’t been too bad (Melissa! No, Molly! I mean it this time!), but I am not looking forward to watching Jake the pilot, who looks and acts like a real live Ken Doll and whines, “Everyone thinks I’m too perfect. . .”

This is a terrible show, and I know it, but I can’t stop getting a Tivo season pass each year and clipping much better programming. I just keep sticking it out until cancellation. It’s kind of like that guy you date, and you want to break up, but then it’s his birthday. And then the holidays come up, so you stay, telling yourself, “I’ll do it by New Year’s, I promise!” And then his dog dies. And then his mom gets sick, so you stay to support him through that terrible time. And then he gets terminal cancer, and how can you break his heart? You’ll just stick it out until the end, right? But after a long, long, long battle, he miraculously goes into remission, and by that time you are married and schtupping the pool boy, but still don’t have the heart to get a divorce because because of the kids.

Yeah, it’s kind of like that.

Gleek

Sue-ism of the week:

"Bring it on, William. I am reasonably confident that you will be adding revenge to a long list of things you’re no good at. Right next to being married, running a high school glee club, and finding a hairstyle that doesn’t make you look like a lesbian."

Oh, Sue. I’m going to miss you during Winter Break. . .

Gleek

Sue-ism of the week:

"You wouldn't know if your Glee club is using your office to breed rabbits for pets or for food, and you know why? You are too busy chasing tail and loading your hair with product!"

Indie Rock Snob - NOT!

When we watch SNL--Tivo of course, who stays up after 9 pm these days? Oh? Everyone but me? Well carry on then. . .--I always blip-blip through the musical guests. I love music, but something about watching it on TV makes me feel all antsy and Monkey Brain, so I just skip it.

Tonight, I sat through both sets of Taylor Swift.

My name is Caitlin, and I love Taylor Swift.

I'm sure that if there's a Hell for Indie Rock Snobs, it would be sitting with me watching Taylor Swift perform on infinite repeat.

Monkey Brain

Why am I such a sucker for tv/movies filmed in San Francisco? I watch Trauma every week, and it's just not very good (this coming from someone who lists Weekend at Bernie's as one of her favorite movies).

While part of me is saying, I'm never going to get back these 40 minutes, another part is saying, Oh look! Potrero Hill!

Monkey Brain

I'm watching tivo'd Rachael Ray Show with Suzanne Somers, and is it me, or does she kind of look like Janice from The Muppet Show? A quick Google image search tells me that I'm not the only one.

Monkey Brain

So I'm watching Survivor and this woman is trash-talking Shambo the mullet lady by saying that she's drunk with power like a white trash woman who "married a rich guy and now drives a Jaguar." Only Miss Smartypants pronounced Jaguar "Jag-wire." Actually? It's Zsaaa-goo-waahhhhr.

The Boob Tube

Glee should be your new favorite show, people. Some sample dialogue:
Sue: "I can't trust a man with curly hair. I can't help picturing small birds laying sulphurous eggs in there, and I find that disgusting."
Need I say more?